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33. Immediately prescribe some character and form of conduce to yourself, which you may keep both alone and in company. Be for the most part silent, or speak merely what is necessary, and in few words. We may, however, enter, though sparingly, into discourse sometimes when occasion calls for it, but not on any of the common subjects, of gladiators, or horse races, or athletic champions, or feasts, the vulgar topics of conversation; but principally not of men, so as either to blame, or praise, or make comparisons. If you are able, then, by your own conversation bring over that of your company to proper subjects; but, if you happen to be taken among strangers, be silent. Don't allow your laughter be much, nor on many occasions, nor profuse. Avoid swearing, if possible, altogether; if not, as far as you areable. Avoid public and vulgar entertainments; but, if ever an occasion calls you to them, keep your attention upon the stretch, that you may not imperceptibly slide into vulgar manners. For be assured that if aperson be ever so sound himself, yet, if his companion be infected,he who converses with him will be infected likewise. Provide things relating to the body no further than mere use; as meat, drink, clothing, house, family. But strike off and reject everything relating to show and delicacy. As far as possible, before marriage, keep yourself pure from familiaritieswith women, and, if you indulge them, let it be lawfully." But don't therefore be troublesome and full of reproofs to those who use these liberties, nor frequently boast that you yourself don't. If anyone tells you that such a person speaks ill of you, don't make excuses about what is said of you, but answer: " He does not know my other faults, else he would not have mentioned only these." It is not necessary for you to appear often at public spectacles; but if ever there is a proper occasion for you to be there, don't appear more solicitous for anyone than for yourself; that is, wish things to be only just as they are, and him only to conquer who is the conqueror, for thus you will meet with no hindrance. But abstain entirely from declamations and derision and violent emotions. And when you come away, don't discourse a great deal on what has passed, and what does not contribute to your own amendment. For it would appearby such discourse that you were immoderately struck with the show. Go not [of your own accord] to the rehearsals of any (authors) , nor appear [at them] readily. But, if you do appear, keep your gravity and sedateness, and at the same time avoid being morose. When you are going to confer with anyone, and particularly of thosein a superior station, represent to yourself how Socrates or Zeno would behave in such a case, and you will not be at a loss to makea proper use of whatever may occur. When you are going to any of the people in power, represent to yourself that you will not find him at home; that you will not be admitted;that the doors will not be opened to you; that he will take no noticeof you. If, with all this, it is your duty to go, bear what happens, and never say [to yourself], " It was not worth so much." For this is vulgar, and like a man dazed by external things. In parties of conversation, avoid a frequent and excessive mentionof your own actions and dangers. For, however agreeable it may beto yourself to mention the risks you have run, it is not equally agreeableto others to hear your adventures. Avoid, likewise, an endeavor to excite laughter. For this is a slippery point, which may throw youinto vulgar manners, and, besides, may be apt to lessen you in the esteem of your acquaintance. Approaches to indecent discourse are likewise dangerous. Whenever, therefore, anything of this sort happens, if there be a proper opportunity, rebuke him who makes advances that way; or, at least, by silence and blushing and a forbidding look, show yourself to be displeased by such talk.
The Enchiridion
By Epictetus
Translated by Elizabeth Carter
