CHECK-IN: "You" as in "I" . . .
Sometimes the "You" in Youand is one's self. . . upon reflection, if we will, on our own experience of a current situation. What do I think, feel, about this given circumstance? What are my judgments; interpretations; associations from past similar situations, the patterns of thought, feeling, and action that influence how I perceive what is going on now? What values, needs, even fears influence the way I experience my perceptions? Recognizing that just because I "think" it, "feel" it, "need" it, doesn't make it "the truth." But, only my experience of something.
I spoke with a relative today, who was quite upset that someone reacted badly to them. My relative outlined in great detail how wrong the other was for attacking my relative verbally. I could not help but wonder, if my relative could consider that "the other" may have felt attacked as well by my relative, and thus was acting out of a sense of retaliation, or defensiveness. The irony is that each party in this example are very close and love each other very much. But now, they are no longer on speaking terms. I wondered what would happen if each could take the time to reflect on their own experience, of their perception, of "the other?"
I consider how often or seldom this happens.
I experience a great deal of curiosity and enthusiasm for learning and sharing much more about all of this.
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"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut
I spoke with a relative today, who was quite upset that someone reacted badly to them. My relative outlined in great detail how wrong the other was for attacking my relative verbally. I could not help but wonder, if my relative could consider that "the other" may have felt attacked as well by my relative, and thus was acting out of a sense of retaliation, or defensiveness. The irony is that each party in this example are very close and love each other very much. But now, they are no longer on speaking terms. I wondered what would happen if each could take the time to reflect on their own experience, of their perception, of "the other?"
I consider how often or seldom this happens.
I experience a great deal of curiosity and enthusiasm for learning and sharing much more about all of this.
-------------------------------
"The final frontier may be human relationships, one person to another." -- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut
posted by José Angel Santana, Ph.D. at 1:50 PM
2 Comments:
Nice post. Makes me think of the third space between two individuals, the psychic field, where each of us is being affected and affecting each other without (at least normally) being aware of anything other than our own reactions.
David B.
So interesting David. Because, when one of my former students came to understand the work we were doing in the performing arts could have application for interpersonal growth, he called it "the space between." And yes, that psychic field between self and other does seem to be ever so charged in ways that influence our lives. Perhaps it's that "final frontier" from Buzz Aldrin's quote that I love so much?
As always, thanks for the insight.
- José
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